At this point in time I'm feeling quite defeated in many ways.. more than I can really describe.
This whole process has been more than overwhelming for me, there is no word to describe all that has been going on in my mind thinking, planning and organizing and emotionally with this whole trip. Right now I just really feel like I just can't take the stress anymore.
So I guess I should really start this off with explaining this whole thing. I'm studying abroad this summer!!!! Deep down I'm really really really excited about it. Although right now and the past couple months that hasn't been real noticable yet. Even though I am super excited I am also equally scared for all that is to come. So, again, back to the trip. I'm studying abroad with the program Semester At Sea. Basically I go on the at sea campus and travel to 8 ports in 7 different countries all while taking 9 credit hours of classes in 2 1/2 months! Which essentially means I go on a cruise ship...take some classes that I get pass/fail credit for.. and get to see world all at the same time! The boat leaves from Halifax, Canada on June 15 (2010 of course) and returns to Norfolk, Virginia on August 21. In the approx. 70 or so days in between those two dates I will be spending 4-5 days (depending on the port) in the following countries: Spain, Italy (2 ports), Croatia, Greece, Turkey, Eygpt, and Morocco. I have three classes for the summer, first is the Global Studies course that every SAS student has to take. From my understanding of the course it discusses the different countries we will be visiting and all about their culture and history, etc. I'll be able to give a better discriptions at a later date when I actually figure it out as well! Then I am taking Spanish 2020, which I'm not going to lie, kinda freaks me out. I just completed 1020 and will have to be skipping 2010 which means I might be a bit behind in this class I hope I can navigate my way through it in the end though! Then lastly my last class is Global Music. Now I can't sing or play an instrument to really save my life but I love music and I'm really excited to be immersed in the traditional music of the countries we visit and see what else I learn in the course! Spanish and Global Music will transfer as my last two BG requirement classes that I need to take! WOOHOO! By having this I am will now only be one class behind on the 4 year plan and will squeeze it in some where along the way to be out of BGSU in May 2012 hopefully!
Well there is the happy description of the whole thing now about how it's been a thorn in my side here for awhile. My roommate (tech suitemate) at BG, Kristi, has been signed up and ready for this study abroad experience since last fall I believe.. but she kept it real quite for awhile. As time got nearer she started talking about it more and in March when she was explaining the whole thing to me all I could say was "WOW! That's cool, I wish I could do that!!!" Her response.... "you can still apply!!" It just so happened that I was going home that weekend and so I just mentioned it to my mom like a "wouldn't it be cool if I could actually do that but too bad that would never happen" type of statement. Much to my surprise she said well why can't you. And there it all began. Kristi had a coupon deal thing that allowed me to apply for free about a week later I was accepted... So within a matter of a week and a half things got real serious real fast. After being accepted you have to give a rather large, at least in my opinion, deposit to say you're actually going. Well with it all happening so fast the money wasn't exactly there right away. A few days after being accepted I received an email from SAS saying the boat was full and a wait list would be started! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I still hadn't paid yet so I had to get my money in ASAP when talking to my mom later that day she said she was going to put the money in my account that night or the next day so that I could get my spot. So luckily it worked out that I was able to call in and get really high up on the wait list.
Stress so far: week and a half later after just saying that the trip would be fun I'm accepted and have to get money in. a wait list is formed. still have to pay. visiting sean at purdue during spring break at this point and have to call in to SAS to make my deposit early in the morning between his classes in the noisey union trying to sort everything out. not too bad yet...
Now comes all the paper work. In order to pay for all this some serious funds need to be found.. and yes I mean at this very point in time they STILL need to be found.... grr. SO SAS tells me to go to BGSU's financial aid office and fill out a consortium agreement. Guess what that involves a lot of office visits: academic advisor, registration and records, transfers and evaluations, financial aid, academic advisor #2, transfers visit #2, financial aid, transfers #3, academic advisor #2 trip 2, financial aid... mmhmmm that's a lot of running around in the middle of the week getting close to the end of the year dealing with classes figuring the whole trip out and telling my situation over and over and over and over again... oh but don't worry it gets better... last part of the consortium needs to be filled out by University of Virginia (the school that SAS goes through) so I had to fax it to the SAS people to send to U of V.... three and a half weeks later with lots of calls to SAS stressing the high need of the form, unsuccessful calls to U of V financial aid office to try to speed up the process and it being finals week, finally I get the form back! This whole agreement tells me how much aid I can get and then I can determine how big of a loan I am going to then need to get and this form was the last part needed, so it took much longer to get back than desired. During the 3 and half week wait I learned I had to get in contact with BGSU's study abroad office even though the program is not through BG. Well I never knew I had to go there and so they just weren't to pleasant with me there because I had done everything on my own and blah blah blah.. basically I started to get hastled about all the work I've been putting into this for the last month and a half doing the best and only things that I knew to do. So now even more paper work to be filled out and money to be spent on an insurance card BG study abroad made me get, even though we get one with SAS.
Now add to the current stress: forms to be filled out by me, visits to many offices for signatures and approvals from all over, the dang FORM (I really really hate this one form) taking 3 1/2 weeks to be returned and study abroad office on my butt. oh joy. oh and don't forget finals week. so packing, studying, moving out, taking tests. yea just great for the stress levels...
well the form got back to me but BGSU financial has still yet to see it so my financial aid still hasn't been processed so I still have a very very large bill to pay to SAS, great. Now with being home it makes it a lot harder to get this all worked out.. I've left the loan to my mom to figure out because I just really don't understand any of that stuff even after trying to do that by myself originally too.
So right now we are still waiting for the loan.
Don't worry that's not the end of my stress... for the whole trip (2 1/2 months) we get a total of 120 minutes of internet time.. yep that is two hours of internet the entire trip.. you are not reading it wrong and i did not type it wrong... a slight upside to that though is that email (with no attachments) is unlimited. This all makes me really nervous for talking to my family and to Sean for the months I am away... I am super super stressed about that even though I don't really talk about that too much.. well until tonight really.
Tonight I exploded... unfortuntely Sean had to be the one who received it and I apologize greatly.. more than I can say... but this is all really getting to me and with school, and sas planning, moving, packing, sean leaving tomorrow for dallas and not seeing him till the very very end of August, not being able to talk to him or my family hardly at all during the trip and much more, I just can't handle anything else... but I might have cried out all my stress... ask Sean, I'm pretty sure every possible tear in me came out.... but the stress isn't really over, it's just not built up anymore, more is sure to come...
I do believe that is all I have to say about the trip in general and the stressful planning and organizing it has taken so far. From now on my writing will get much more relaxed in posts (I had capitilizing things) so I'm sorry but that's just the way it will be. I hope to post to this everyday during the trip and not make them too too long but enough to give an idea of my daily adventures so that everyone can see what I'm up to and so I can look back and remember it all!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
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